Any Way You Want It

It's over. CNN reports that Kerry just called Bush to concede the election.

I feel that Journey should be playing in the background. Whiny, tortured music with hackneyed cliché lyrics. It seems that's what this country wants. Well, America, anyway you want it, that's the way you need it. Be careful what you wish for. Sometimes you get what you deserve.

OK, I'm out of clichés.

America, you get four more years of the retarded cowboy — as Bill Maher brilliantly referred to Bush on Real Time last night. Then he said:

"I was watching Ashlee Simpson on Jay's show last night... She was really singing, and I was saying, 'Bring back the lip synch.' ...And it struck me that Ashlee Simpson is a lot like George Bush, because she wouldn't even be in the big leagues if it wasn't for family connections. She's in way over her head, and she doesn't know what to do. And when things go wrong, she blames her band."

Last time it was notorious hanging chads. This time, intimidating provisional ballots.

Please, at least, can we have four more years of Bill?

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In the next story, Postmodern Sass goes to a hockey game, even though the NHL is still on lockout. Postmodern Sass enjoys her visits to the United States of Whatever, but she enjoys returning home to Toronto even more. She'll return to Mississipi in August, 2005. Just ahead of Hurricane Katrina.