She swallowed the spider to catch the fly
But I don't know why she swallowed that fly. Oh, wait, yes I do.
Because as she was driving home from Staples, where she had had her computer's memory upgraded, the car window was open, because...
Her car's air conditioning doesn't work, because...
No, that's another story. And just kidding about the fly (though not about the air conditioning). What really happened was this:
She had her computer's memory upgraded from 128MB to 384MB, because...
That's the maximum the computer will take, because...
It's a four year old HP Pavilion. She had to upgrade the memory, because...
She had, after three days of dealing with spyware and worms and bears (Oh my!), discovered just how slow her computer could be (something about molasses and January), because...
Windows XP requires 256MB just for its own self. She had decided to upgrade from Windows 98 to Windows XP, because...
She had bought a flash drive, and even though the nice man at Staples had told her it would work with Windows 98, so long as she downloaded the driver files from the manufacturer's Web site, and even though she did that, it did not, in fact, work. She had decided to buy a USB flash drive, because...
She needed to copy a 166MB printer driver file from her computer at work to her computer at home, because...
She has dialup at home, and though she had tried three times, overnight, she couldn't manage successfully to download such a large file. She needed the 166MB printer driver file, because...
She wanted to use her friend Angela's printer, which she's holding onto while Angela spends the summer with a cult in California (a story I will, eventually, get around to telling you, Gentle Reader), because it's a fancy all-in-one printer, scanner, and copier, and far superior to her own Canon Bubblejet, which in any event needs a new ink cartridge, and so she decided it was better to invest $20 in a USB printer cable for Angela's printer (since there wasn't one among Angela's things; neither was there the CD that must have originally come with the printer, which would have negated the need to download the aforementioned 166MB file), than to invest $50 in a new ink cartridge just then.
Today, at long last, I can print. I can even scan photos. At least until Angela is uninculcated. And I have the coolest flash drive — it has a little blue light that flashes when you plug it in — and it works now, so I'll be able to use it to carry files back and forth to work when classes start in September. I am rather proud of myself for having hunted down and killed the Sasser worm (though I couldn't have done so without help from the Geek I Love). And I have what I hope has been an amusing story for you, Gentle Reader.
So let's review, shall we?
Two 128MB memory upgrades, plus installation: $167
McAfee Virus Scan 9.0: $81
Windows XP Professional: $168
San Disk Cruzer Titanium USB flash drive: $93
USB printer cable for HP PSC 1110 all-in-one: $23
Finally understanding the meaning of the economist's term, "point of diminishing returns": Priceless!
Because as she was driving home from Staples, where she had had her computer's memory upgraded, the car window was open, because...
Her car's air conditioning doesn't work, because...
No, that's another story. And just kidding about the fly (though not about the air conditioning). What really happened was this:
She had her computer's memory upgraded from 128MB to 384MB, because...
That's the maximum the computer will take, because...
It's a four year old HP Pavilion. She had to upgrade the memory, because...
She had, after three days of dealing with spyware and worms and bears (Oh my!), discovered just how slow her computer could be (something about molasses and January), because...
Windows XP requires 256MB just for its own self. She had decided to upgrade from Windows 98 to Windows XP, because...
She had bought a flash drive, and even though the nice man at Staples had told her it would work with Windows 98, so long as she downloaded the driver files from the manufacturer's Web site, and even though she did that, it did not, in fact, work. She had decided to buy a USB flash drive, because...
She needed to copy a 166MB printer driver file from her computer at work to her computer at home, because...
She has dialup at home, and though she had tried three times, overnight, she couldn't manage successfully to download such a large file. She needed the 166MB printer driver file, because...
She wanted to use her friend Angela's printer, which she's holding onto while Angela spends the summer with a cult in California (a story I will, eventually, get around to telling you, Gentle Reader), because it's a fancy all-in-one printer, scanner, and copier, and far superior to her own Canon Bubblejet, which in any event needs a new ink cartridge, and so she decided it was better to invest $20 in a USB printer cable for Angela's printer (since there wasn't one among Angela's things; neither was there the CD that must have originally come with the printer, which would have negated the need to download the aforementioned 166MB file), than to invest $50 in a new ink cartridge just then.
Today, at long last, I can print. I can even scan photos. At least until Angela is uninculcated. And I have the coolest flash drive — it has a little blue light that flashes when you plug it in — and it works now, so I'll be able to use it to carry files back and forth to work when classes start in September. I am rather proud of myself for having hunted down and killed the Sasser worm (though I couldn't have done so without help from the Geek I Love). And I have what I hope has been an amusing story for you, Gentle Reader.
So let's review, shall we?
Two 128MB memory upgrades, plus installation: $167
McAfee Virus Scan 9.0: $81
Windows XP Professional: $168
San Disk Cruzer Titanium USB flash drive: $93
USB printer cable for HP PSC 1110 all-in-one: $23
(Total: $532)Brand new Compaq Presario SR 1220NX with 512MB RAM and Windows XP Home Edition with Security Pack 2 installed, at Staples: $514
Finally understanding the meaning of the economist's term, "point of diminishing returns": Priceless!
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