Greatest Hits Volume III
If I were to hear from an old friend today, someone I hadn't spoken to for six months, say, and they were to ask me, so what have you been up to, I would probably reply, oh, not much; same as usual.
In October, my car broke down on the way to the university, and I was almost late for my Hard Rock Café class. Then I gave one of my students an F, something I truly hate to do.
In November, my favourite bartender, Andrew, abandoned me, so on the advice of my personal life coach, Angela, I went sailing with my handsome neighbour, Boz, and we almost died. Boz is now notorious at the yacht club and I am "that tall redhead who was on the boat with him."
In December I hung out at Wayne Gretzky's with my cousin Nate. The bar called Wayne Gretzky's that is; not, like Wayne Gretzky's house. Then I went to Chicago, to spend New Year's Eve with a man I met through my blog and had only spent one day with before that, and vowed never to go to a Hard Rock Café again. Or, at least, never to eat at one.
In January I finally heard from Andrew, the bastard. The Banknote just isn't the same without him, even though we still have Sid. Andrew's crazy: he dared Shayla to hit him as hard as she could, and she clocked him good. Then she turned to me and said, "That was great! Have you ever punched a guy?" So I told her about how I beat up Mario Silva when I was in grade eight.
In February, I learned a lesson about plumbing, and the importance of always wearing mascara. I met a new friend, Maria, who's as dorky as I am, which is why I love her. And I read the new Stephen King book.
In March, it was my daddy's birthday and I gave him a textbook for a present, but it seems that all you, Gentle Readers, were interested in was the menu at Denny's when I ran off to Niagara Falls with the Hot Chef from the Junction.
And what's up with Jack, you ask, Gentle Reader? Well, he was supposed to come to Toronto in October for his friend's wedding, and I was supposed to go with him, so we could dance again. I bought a new dress and everything, and then instead of dancing Jack spent the week of his friend's wedding in the hospital in San Francisco. He promised to take me and my new dress dancing soon, though, and when he was here in November for a quick trip to his homeland, he invited me to be his date for the Big Ass American Software Company Christmas party. And then he uninvited me. And then he went radio silent, which is why I went ahead and went to Chicago, and then after New Year's he, well, he threw me over. Again. And I told him, well, if that's what you need to do, I know I can't stop you, but it really doesn't change anything because of, you know, that thing. So I let him go but in March I called him because a Very Bad Thing happened and, much to my surprise he called me back and sang me a song.
And how have things been with you?
In October, my car broke down on the way to the university, and I was almost late for my Hard Rock Café class. Then I gave one of my students an F, something I truly hate to do.
In November, my favourite bartender, Andrew, abandoned me, so on the advice of my personal life coach, Angela, I went sailing with my handsome neighbour, Boz, and we almost died. Boz is now notorious at the yacht club and I am "that tall redhead who was on the boat with him."
In December I hung out at Wayne Gretzky's with my cousin Nate. The bar called Wayne Gretzky's that is; not, like Wayne Gretzky's house. Then I went to Chicago, to spend New Year's Eve with a man I met through my blog and had only spent one day with before that, and vowed never to go to a Hard Rock Café again. Or, at least, never to eat at one.
In January I finally heard from Andrew, the bastard. The Banknote just isn't the same without him, even though we still have Sid. Andrew's crazy: he dared Shayla to hit him as hard as she could, and she clocked him good. Then she turned to me and said, "That was great! Have you ever punched a guy?" So I told her about how I beat up Mario Silva when I was in grade eight.
In February, I learned a lesson about plumbing, and the importance of always wearing mascara. I met a new friend, Maria, who's as dorky as I am, which is why I love her. And I read the new Stephen King book.
In March, it was my daddy's birthday and I gave him a textbook for a present, but it seems that all you, Gentle Readers, were interested in was the menu at Denny's when I ran off to Niagara Falls with the Hot Chef from the Junction.
And what's up with Jack, you ask, Gentle Reader? Well, he was supposed to come to Toronto in October for his friend's wedding, and I was supposed to go with him, so we could dance again. I bought a new dress and everything, and then instead of dancing Jack spent the week of his friend's wedding in the hospital in San Francisco. He promised to take me and my new dress dancing soon, though, and when he was here in November for a quick trip to his homeland, he invited me to be his date for the Big Ass American Software Company Christmas party. And then he uninvited me. And then he went radio silent, which is why I went ahead and went to Chicago, and then after New Year's he, well, he threw me over. Again. And I told him, well, if that's what you need to do, I know I can't stop you, but it really doesn't change anything because of, you know, that thing. So I let him go but in March I called him because a Very Bad Thing happened and, much to my surprise he called me back and sang me a song.
And how have things been with you?
5 Comments:
Hey, I'm not half as dorky as you are! (ok, ok, who am I kidding? I'm probably even worse than you!)
I have to admit that, even though more things may have happened to me in the aforementioned time period, I can't seem to summarize them in so eloquent or interesting a manner.
And Dude, the very fact that you were surprised that we paid more attention to the Denny's than to the Hot Chef, just proves that YOU haven't been paying attention. :-)
What a life you lead!
And I never realized that they spelled favourite like that in Canada, not favorite.
Wow, how long did it take you to make all those embedded links? It took me forever to get through this! You certainly are prolific.
I just figured out you teach marketing.
I admire the amount of retracing previous posts you did. Back when I kept a written journal, I used to do a "revisiting the past" entry every 2-3 months, or whenever there was a major update to some long-buried event.
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