Wednesday, January 17, 2007

It Sucks

Welcome to Please wait for an operator to respond.

You are now chatting with 'Daniella'

Your Issue ID for this chat is LTK69010057308X

Daniella: Hello. My name is Daniella. How can I help you?

Sass: Can you tell me if you have the Miele S183 vacuum cleaner in stock? Every other website says it is unavailable.

Daniella: One moment please, while I check on that item for you.

Daniella: The lead time for the item you are inquiring about is approximately 2-3 business days.

Sass: Are you sure? As I said, every other website says there are production delays at the manufacturer, and that the product won't be available for months. I want to verify that you have it in stock. I don't want to order it and then be told there will be delays.

Daniella: As per our website the lead time is 2-3 business days.

Sass: I know it says on your website that it normally ships in 2-3 days. I can read. I am asking you to check on the stock availability.

Daniella: You can call into our Sales Department and they can verify if we have this item in stock and the actual lead time it will take to ship to you.

Sass: I prefer to communicate online, that's why I'm talking to you. You are supposed to be the customer service person. Why can't you answer my question?

Daniella: One moment please sir.

Daniella: If the order is placed today it usually takes 24 hours for the order to process and once the order is processed it will ship within 2-3 business days. Therefore turnaround time before the item is shipped out to you is 3-5 business days.

Sass: You're still not answering my question. You are giving me the general information that's on the website. What you've said is only accurate if the item is actually in stock. I am asking you to verify that, for this product, today, right now, the information you just gave me is accurate.

Sass: If the item is in stock I will order it right now, and expect to receive it in approximately 3-5 days. I do not want to order it and then be told that it will not be available until March. As I've told you, every other website that sells vacuum cleaners online is saying they are out of stock, that there are production delays with the manufacturer, and that this product will not be available until March.

Daniella: Unfortunately ma'am if you would like to confirm that we do have this item in stock you can call into our Sales Department as they are better equipped to answer your question.

Sass: Aren't you the customer service department? I'm asking a simple customer service question. If you can't answer it, I will simply move on to the next vendor, and buy my vacuum cleaner elsewhere.

Daniella: As per our website it is stating that this item ships out within 2-3 business days. This is an answer that is unacceptable to you and our Sales Department has access to checking if items are in fact available that is why I am directing you to call them. They will be better able to assist you and provide you with a more accurate lead time.

Sass: Thank you. I will buy my vacuum cleaner elsewhere.

Her house may be dusty but Sass comes home to new bedding and a nice warm kitty cat. Later, one of Sass's heroes finds this story, and links to it. Thank you, Seth Godin!

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sounds like your "customer service person" was either a computer or someone with no personality. Or both.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Daniella: One moment please sir.

Is this a common confusion?

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, customer service...

Blogger Udge said...

How extraordinarily suckish. Was that even a real person or did you just fail the Turing Test? ;-)

Blogger Postmodern Sass said...

Daniella was a person, all right, though how real I can't say. Perhaps a bear of very little brain. She seems to have confused me with Peppermint Patty.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe she was a Stepford Wife or Maxine Headrom?

Anonymous Kay said...

Poor Daniella was following a "script" - she probably isn't allowed to deviate from said script. The big impersonal bank I work for also has scripts our customer service people must follow. They are unfailingly polite with their Westernized Indian accents, but completely incapable of answering a question not on their script. Poor things, they are fun to mess with :)

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Its just a vacuum, arent they all the same?? -ducking out of the way as things are thrown_

Blogger Tracy Lynn said...

Daniella fills me with hate. You must have really wanted that vac, to have held out so long.

Blogger Jamie said...

I had a similar experience recently trying out Hewlett-Packard's online help desk - in that case, I'm convinced it was a robot (tested with some gibberish, to which it replied "let me consult a technician").

Anonymous AdriftAtSea said...

Unfortunately, there is little incentive for most companies to have customer service that actually works. UGH, sad but true. It seems as companies get further removed from their customers, the less they feel they actually need to serve their customers as human beings.

Blogger Karl said...

Typical "customer service" crap. So did you ever find your vacuum?


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